Father's Handbook
Introduction
The following handbook is intended to be a guide as Fathers try to accomplish the task of being a spiritual guide to our children. God so loved us that He sent His one and only Son to offer us eternal life. It only stands to reason that He would also help and guide us as we make the journey through this world
A good place to start is with the words, “This is what the Word of God says”
“Father’s, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. ”
There will be times when you will not understand why your children get so angry. 9 out of 10 times it is because they feel they have been wronged in someway or they feel that you have or are going to take something away. The trick is to shine the light of God’s Word bright enough so that they may see that you are using and living out the instructions of our Father. They will listen to someone who loves them, to someone who has died for them.
In this verse God is instructing us to be consistent in our teaching, not only in what we say to our children, but also in what our children see us doing. (That’s teaching as well). If you look closely at the verse, the first part describes the problem and the second the solution. It’s not our plan but the discipline and instruction of the Lord. That means that we must find out the truth before we teach. Our version of the truth may not be God’s, and the teaching must start from the beginning.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. God says that the job starts at birth. I recently ran into a father who was having a problem with his son. He said to me that his son does not listen to him at all. My question to him was, have you ever told him that God said to honor thy father and thy mother. His response to me was that he didn’t want to force his religion onto his son. You see his son doesn’t understand the father because he never explained why he was acting this way to his son, that his instruction was from God and was the truth and was to the child’s benefit. Train “UP”, that means from the beginning. This is wrong son because God says it is and it is not to our advantage not to take His advise. You can’t be walking on a path of your own making and expect your children to walk on God’s path. They instinctually will follow you.If your children are unhappy and angry we must first make sure that as we look at our children are they a reflection of ourselves. If that is true your first move is to change paths.
We all want the best for our children. The question from time to time “what is the best”? Is it to give our children everything they want or to make sure they have everything they need. You see Jesus said, “What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion”? (Luke 11: 11-12) Now I’m almost sure we would never offer our children a serpent or scorpion but there will be times when our children will ask for something that will not be good for them. Our next move will determine if our children will have a fish or a serpent in their hands. Something that will nourish them or something that will poison them. If we teach our children the wrong things by word or action we have handed them a serpent that will poison them.
As Father’s we should be encouragers, our children’s cheerleaders. Colossians 3:21 Father’s, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Discouragement is a big problem in our society today. If you want to encourage your children to good behavior then notice when they do things correctly and tell them you are proud of them. We have a tendency to only notice what our children do wrong. Take time to notice and to acknowledge them. Remember the parents they will become will mirror your example of what a parent should be. (scary isn’t it).
Unconditional Love:
This is the most important component in the relationship with our children. They must, “must”, know that you love them unconditionally. There will be times when you do not like their behavior and I’m sure there will be times when they feel that you have responded incorrectly, but the bond that can’t be broken must be the bond of unconditional love. God demonstrated this love to us through His Son Jesus Christ. Even when we were in our sins, He showed compassion to his children. Not my words God’s Word. Psalm 103:13 As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
God is the key, He sets the example and we follow.
Still having trouble understanding His simple truth? Listen to this.
1 John 3:1 See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.
The first part of this verse explains to us the unconditional love of the Father. He adopted us even when we were disobedient to Him. The reason our children don’t understand is that they do not know Him. It is our job to make Him known. Having trouble communicating with your children? Explain the relationship you have with the Father and how you and He communicate. Share your relationship with the Father and the love will spill over into the relationship with your children.
David once had to explain his relationship with the Father and he started it off this way.
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.”
David explained that he followed the Lord. I wonder if our children know if we follow the Lord? They should, and you will be surprised as you follow the Lord, they to will walk with you.
Having trouble making up your mind? Is God really trying to teach us how to parent? Well It is decision time.
Joshua 24:15 Choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the river, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
When our children know who we serve they will start to understand. They already know the gods of this world and they watch to see who we serve. Make it plain to them who you serve and don’t be surprised as you look around and see your children following your example.
They notice when they do not have your full attention they can see what is distracting you. Make sure that your children see that you do love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might (Deuteronomy 6:5). They must see that God is at the top of your Priority list. Remember the day you realized that you turned into your parents. If you follow God so will they.
In conclusion, Like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into His own kingdom and Glory (1 Thessalonians 2:11-12).
Make sure your children know the path that you are on and where it leads. Help them to discover what God has planned for their lives and the joy of making that journey with Him.
God has much more to say about parenting and solving the problems that may arise. Before you become discouraged remember that He will lead you if you are willing to follow. Those who are watching will follow you as well.
Matthew 3:17 This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.
Enjoy your Father’s day!
"My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it."
-- Clarence Budington Kelland, U.S. Writer
"It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father."
-- Pope John XXIII